Bird porn

I saw some birds DOIN` IT.

Ooooooooooh yeah. Living where I do, we witness a fair bit of procreation of the avian kind, a.k.a. bird sex.

We`ve had a pair of mourning doves (Zenaida macroura, if you are a speaker of Latin) nesting in our yard for about 3 years now. They`re back this year, which is awesome for a bird nerd like me. I love their call - it sounds the way I think velvet feels. Or the way a malt tastes.

Anyways, this morning I was stripping the bedsheets for the laundry and glanced outside at the gravel driveway. And I witnessed a special moment between the doves.

A very special moment, indeed. I saw one crouched down on the ground, and the other clumsily climbing up on her back. I could draw only one conclusion - the birdy version of the beast with two backs.

I mulled it over as I shoveled sheets into the washing machine, and still as I waited for Boy Wonder to finish his Terrific Threes class at the rec centre. I finally had a spare minute today to research bird sex, and found this:

I also found this:

And in a moment of inspired weirdness, this porcelain statue by Meissen, which according to Christie`s is worth $25,000 to $35,000 USD. Which is insane.

ANYWAYS.

I saw mourning doves mating this morning. Most birds have a cloaca because birds in general don`t have external genitals. No weewees here. So they turn their cloacas inside out, poke out their cloaca pokey things, and touch them. This is called - and I kid you not - the cloacal kiss.

The kiss is how the male gets the sperm to the female, and you know the rest of the story.

I tried to find a pic of the cloacal kiss for you, but OMG, it`s gross. The only pic I found was a closeup of a bird`s bum. And really, you don`t need to see that. Also, apparently, there`s a band called Cloacal Kiss. Now that I know what a cloacal kiss is I can`t say I think that`s the best name they could have chosen.

ANYWAYS.

I`m going to keep watching this pair of doves. I like to think that somewhere in our yard they`re snuggled up together in domestic bliss, just a couple of young kids trying to make their way in the world. I`ll see if I can`t get some photos of the babies, if I ever manage to find the nest. But in the meantime, I`ll leave you with this photo of someone holding a pet dove chick. ADORABLE, in a bristly beaky sort of way. Enjoy! And remember to reflect on the appropriate-ness of Cloacal Kiss for a band name!